What Is Abuse?

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Abuse:

Definition: As defined by the General Laws of Massachusetts, abuse is one or more of the following acts done to a person: 

1. attempting to/causing physical harm to another
2. causing emotional stress by way of insults or  threats of physical harm
3. forcing involuntary sexual relations

Abuse is a general term for the misuse of a person or thing, causing harm to the person or thing, to the abuser, or to someone else. Abuse can be something as simple as damaging a piece of equipment through using it the wrong way, or as serious as severe maltreatment of a person. Abuse may be direct and overt, or may be disguised and covert.  

Types of Abuse:

• Physical
• Emotional
• Sexual
• Economic

Who is affected:

• Everyone!
• Mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, husbands, wives, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, acquaintances

Cycle of Abuse:

Abuse can take place instantly, or over long amounts of time

• Tension building stage:
• This can happen in a short amount of time, or over a longer period
• The abuser gets angry and forceful
• Starts putting limits on the victim:
• These limits can be physical or social
• Examples: holding the victim down; removing someone’s leg braces/support equipment;  not allowing the victim to see friends/relatives
• Abuse stage:
• Physical harm- pushing, punching, slapping, kicking, beating, using objects to harm
• Emotional harm- insults, verbal threats
• Misuse of victim’s property- destroying property, stealing funds/goods
• Sexual assault- any forced sexual act; touching, rape, or unwanted sexual attention
• “Honey-moon” Stage
• This can happen before or after the abuse, it is common that it occurs at both times
• This is when the abuser “butters up” the victim
• The abuser is sweet and loving to gain back the victim’s trust
• This is fake; the abuser wants to control the victim’s emotions, the abuser must gain the victim’s trust in order to keep them within their control

Warning Signs of Abuse:

• Social isolation: limiting what one can do, who one can see, and when one can see them
• Unexplained physical injuries
• Victim may show signs of depression: weight loss or gain, constantly tired, extremely anxious
• A batterer can be verbally abusive in private or in public
• Extreme jealousy
• Requiring permission to do certain things; ex. See people, spend money, etc.
• Controls what one wears
• An abuser might have a history of violence; short temper, fighting with others, abusing animals and or property, has easy access to weapons, becomes angry after consuming drugs or alcohol
• Stalking: when not together, constantly calls and inquires whereabouts; shows up to victim’s home
• Victim is apologetic for abuser’s actions, makes excuses for them, rationalizes them, blames themselves
• Victim is constantly “on edge;” does things to keep the abuser happy, very afraid to make the abuser angry
• Victim loses interest in once-loved hobbies and activities, most of his or her time is spent with abuser or doing tasks for the abuser
• Abuser threatens self-harm or suicide to guilt the victim

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For the safety of our clients, our hotline is operated from different locations and we change these locations daily.  We only maintain our administrative offices at 500 Beach Street, Revere, Massachusetts; NO services are rendered on site.  For the safety of our staff and volunteers, potential and existing clients should NOT visit our administrative offices.